My car engine light was on, so I went to a car shop looking for someone who could help and asked the two mechanics at the desk. They were busy but said one of them could take a look. “To whom is this inspection going?” one mechanic asked the other.

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“Get Jessica; this one’s hers,” the other mechanic said. “Paging her now,” the first mechanic said.

About an hour later, Jessica came into the lobby. She approached me frowning. “The car is in bad shape. Its transmission is near dead, so whoever sold it to you should have their seller's license taken away. Where did you buy this junk?”

“From a friend. He said the car only needed a tune-up.”

“Don’t trust him anymore,” and the mechanic shook her head.

“Ugh, whose responsibility is this, mine or his, since the purchase is so new?”

“The issue belongs to whomever owns the title.”

“Well, the title is now mine.”

“Then the car and these problems are yours.”

“What is your warranty policy?”

“Ours is one of the best,” and the mechanic explained how theirs worked. “We’ll do our best. Count on us.”

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A Note on Who/Whom

“Who do you love?” or “Whom do you love?” The second instance is grammatically correct—we use the object form whom because “I love ____” needs the object pronoun case. That’s the rule, applied across all who/whom cases: use who for subject pronouns, whom for object pronouns. One strategy to discern when to use which is to rearrange the passage to see if who/whom references a subject or object:

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Who told you? (He told me.)

Whom did you tell? (I told her).

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The salesperson, a woman whom I have known for years, gave me a discount. (I have known her for years.)

The salesperson, a woman who is a friend of mine, gave me a discount. (She is a friend of mine.)

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Nevertheless, you probably rarely hear, “Whom do you love?” or “Whom did you tell?”, right? Whether you hate this who/whom confusion or couldn’t care less, the reality of English language use right now is that whom is falling out of favor and is rarely used. Lament that loss all you will, there is no inherent rule or reason why English needs the object form of who to arrive with an -m. Referring back to the Pronoun Case Chart above, several other pronouns share subject, object, or possessive forms (you, her, or it, for instance). Yet, people don’t go around screaming that we need something like youm to differentiate the following:

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            “Are you speaking to me?” “Yes, I am speaking to youm!”

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We know quite easily what forms of you are in play here, with or without any additional letters.

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So why do people complain about whom’s disappearance from English diction? I don’t fully know, though I suspect many might believe the world is always getting worse, that “things ain’t like that used to be…” or some other nostalgic delusion. The truth is English remains a strong, nuanced language with or without whom; its disappearance does not trigger or forecast any imminent doom to the vitality of English or its syntax structures. First, as mentioned, the loss would not likely lead to any confusions or ambiguities, as all pronouns require appropriate antecedents or context regardless. Moreover, the vitality of language often lies in its ongoing ability to adapt, overcome, and thrive within new linguistic spaces (with new words, expressions, and even grammatical structures). Through ongoing language use, a meaningful grammatical system often develops and redevelops, offering new, lively ways to express ideas, form sentence.

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All of this is to say that while it can be a worthwhile exercise discussing the potential meaning and use of who/whom, I do not believe it currently relevant or vital to hold on to whom if it should eventually slip away from English diction. Use it properly if you like, realizing just the same that who in object-form appears to be a perfectly socially-acceptable replacement.